something stupid
Hey everyone. Our team has been thinking a lot. We here at something believe that culture makes our lives better. The access we have to cultural history through the internet allows discovery and reflection of identities on a scale that has never been possible before. We like to get deep, reflect on themes, and give you guys recommendations that are meaningful to us and that we believe will be meaningful to you.
But we also know that sometimes… you just gotta get dumb with it.
Here’s something stupid.
“stupid horse” by 100 gecs
After sitting in the library listening to classical music all day trying to get your dumb degree that probably won’t get you a job anyways, the perfect song to listen to is “stupid horse” by 100 gecs, off of their May album, "1000 gecs.”
The music that 100 gecs (comprised of Dylan Brady and Laura Les) create is beyond any one genre, but in the simplest terms, it could be considered a combination of edm and rap (again, this is not really accurate). Telling the story of a horse bet gone wrong, “stupid horse” takes the lyrical style of a rap song, puts it in a ska song, twists it through Soundcloud-worth base, and sprinkles a guitar solo on top. The repetitive hook, “stupid horse, I just fell out of the Porsche/Lost the money in my bank account,” makes it impossible to not get the urge to headbang. The energetic baseline and autotuned verses will distract you from your upcoming midterm, or honestly anything else you'd like to forget about for a few minutes. All you need to do is put on some headphones and punch a jockey in his face. Then you can get back to the books.
”girl you’re hot and cold, that makes you warm” - tyga
beezing
Picture this:
You’re spiraling, rag-dolled, face pressed against the uber’s window—you’re in one of those alcohol induced swirls. That’s when Tommy, elected caretaker of the group because he’s one drink behind the rest of you, rushes to your aid like a wartime nurse. You feel an ineffable sensation run across each of your eyelids. You sit up, senses heightened, pulled out of your stupor for one moment of clarity. Your eyes focus on what Tommy’s holding, a stick of Peppermint Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm. Before you can ask what just happened, you proceed to regurgitate every single one of those $3 tequila shots.
Amidst the cannon of nightlife lore, in the vein of “breaking the seal” and “beer before liquor,” there is the mystical practice of Beezing: the act of rubbing Peppermint Burt’s Bees across your eyelids. Some believe in its medicinal application, claiming it’ll sober you up. Others insist it gets them high.
“The tingles—they just dO something to me... you know man?” says freshman boy outside of La Macc asking anyone he sees if he can hit their Juul.
Next time you’re looking for a quick-me-up, or if you want to make that walk between darty houses more exciting, give the Beez a try. Buzz buzz!
andy dwyer
Michael Scott, Jackie Burkhart, Joey Tribiani, Tracy Jordan—many of the greatest television shows have featured characters with more air in their head than brain. But of all the dummies we love to watch, nobody can beat Andy Dwyer.
Yes, in the first season he’s an asshole to Ann, but once he was incorporated into Parks as a full member of the ensemble, he quickly earned his place in Pawnee. Also, April and Andy are a cuter couple than any other sitcom romance (come at me, Jim-and-Pam heads). From his side career as Burt Macklin, FBI, to the perfection that is the Johnny Karate Musical Explosion Show, this is easily Chris Pratt’s best and most important performance. So cheers to Andy Dwyer, the greatest rockstar Indiana has ever seen. You’re 5000 candles in the wind, my friend.
“i may be stupid, but i’m not dumb” - patrick star
myotonic goats
Aka the fainting goat, aka the falling goat, aka the nervous goat, aka the stupidest frickin goat on the planet. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the myotonic goat, boy are you missing out. If you approach the goat too suddenly or scare it in any way, it panics. It will freeze for anywhere between 5-20 seconds. According to Wikipedia (a world-class journalistic source), this stiffness is caused by “powerful tetanic contractions of the muscles.” The goat can remain frozen in place or it could fall to the ground on its side. The dumbest part about all of this is that fainting is the goat’s defense mechanism. The myotonic goat senses that it needs to escape immediately, and yet it falls to the ground right where it is. It’s beyond me that natural selection hasn’t gotten the best of them. Shoutout goat herders for keeping these dumb fucks alive for all these years so we can laugh at them.
We told you it would be stupid. If you enjoyed, please share it with your friends and tell them to sign up! We’ll be back next week. Peace.
Recommendations (credited in order): Meredith Fuentes, Marc Cordero, Andrew Toban, Montserrat Vazquez-Posada … 🏡
